Children who need adoptive homes

The profile of children needing adoptive homes has changed dramatically over the last twenty years.

It is now very rare for babies to be placed for adoption, although it can happen from time to time. Children who are seeking adoption are those from families which have broken down, or where the child has been removed for their own safety due to emotional or physical neglect or physical and/or sexual abuse. Children are usually already in the care of local authorities and living with temporary foster parents. Children may need to be placed individually or in sibling groups, according to their needs. Some will need to retain some ongoing contact with birth relatives. Many children have varying degrees of special needs due to the experiences they have had, but ALL need stability and the knowledge that they are loved and valued by their new parents.

Our criteria for selecting prospective adoptive parents.

To adopt a child through the Catholic Children’s Society (Westminster) you must be:

• Over 21 years of age
• Married, if you are a couple
• Single, living on your own
• Able to show that you can provide a stable, loving home for a child
• Able to meet a child’s racial, cultural and religious needs

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE A CATHOLIC TO BE CONSIDERED AS AN ADOPTER

Preparation and Placement

We run Preparation groups for people who are thinking about adoption. This helps people to explore issues and ask detailed questions. If, after the group preparation you wish to proceed, you will be visited several times by one of our social workers in your home and have interviews in our offices. The process will take about five months after which your application will be considered by an independent adoption panel, which you will be able to attend.

Once approved as an adopter, you will play an active role in drawing up your profile which will then be circulated to agencies that have children for adoption.

Our support does not end when the adoption is made legal. We visit families with new children and run several services to support children and their adopters if there are problems.

Typical adoptive placements

Norma. Norma is a single woman who adopted 7 year old Jon. She enjoyed having a family so much that she then adopted Natalie.

Helen and Terry. They adopted a ‘hard to place’ child – JJ. JJ was ‘in care’ most of his life and because of his behaviour was thought to be beyond adoption. Despite this he has settled in well. It hasn’t been easy but Helen and Terry have found it richly rewarding and ‘wouldn’t be without him’ now.

Eileen. A 40 year old single teacher who was used to everyone else’s children but wanted children of her own. She first adopted 8 year old William. Mary, who she adopted later had a more complicated background and needed contact with her birth family. She found it difficult to settle at first, but they have all now bonded as a proper family.

David and Vivienne. David is English and Vivienne African-Caribbean. They adopted Duncan and Edward, ages 4 and 3 who were already ‘in care’. They had been abused and neglected by parents who had been ‘in care’ themselves. Duncan and Edward had been in many foster homes, were very insecure and could not trust David and Vivienne’s commitment. Each night they would check to make sure that their bags hadn’t been packed for another move and that the breakfast table was laid for their breakfast. After two years of patience and love, the boys are no longer fearful and have settled down.

Bill and Margaret. They had already adopted a son eight years earlier. He had needed to maintain contact with birth relatives but each contact left him unsettled and agitated. Bill and Margaret’s kindness and consistency helped him to calm down and they now all value the benefits of keeping links open. With this experience already they adopted three year old Jenny who had been removed from her home at the age of 18 months following physical and sexual abuse. Jenny was prone to uncontrollable sobbing but Bill and Margaret’s understanding care has helped her to feel secure and loved for herself.

Cheryl. Cheryl is African-Caribbean. She was briefly married in her 30’s but her husband left her. She was keen to adopt but was unsure that she would be considered suitable and was concerned about the responsibilities involved in being a single parent. Gabriel had spent 4 years ‘in care’ due to the lack of black adopters when he was placed with her. Cheryl’s family have rallied around and she is coping very well and enjoying being Mum to Gabriel.